Ten Things We Canadians Pretend to Like About the Rest of the World


Most Canadians think Canada is the best country in the world. Enough said. Now, what do we think of the rest of the world.


1. We pretend to like the United States because we need the business but deep down we loath them. We think Americans in general are bossy, arrogant and have no class and Trump is an idiot.

2. As far as Britain is concerned we pretend to like the Monarchy. There's a picture of Liz in every public building, as if she's spying on us. No one really looks at her. She's just a nuisance we put up with because we are such a loyal bunch, pledging allegiance, we just can't let her down. We feel obligated. Now with an American in the Royal Family who knows how we'll react. Time will tell.

3. The same goes with all the other European countries; France, Holland, Sweden, we think they're too white. Snobs actually.

4. We pretend to like the Arab countries just to keep the peace. It's not working! They keep attacking us. Little do they know we won't put up with much longer. Mental illness isn't an excuse to commit murder. To me anyway.

5. India, China, Japan, North and South Korea, the whole Asian continent scares us, their multitudes of people. Their leaders. We've never trusted them, blame America for that.

6. Africa is to hot and full of wild animals and exotic diseases. We only go there on Safari's after we get all the shots then, when we get back home, we pretend we had a good time but we were actually scared shitless and would never go again.

7. South America's hot also and they have some crazy ideas about the dead. We've heard a lot about the canniballs and zombies, lurking the Amazon. They party a lot and take strange drugs.

8. Canadians pretend to understand Australians down under but they don't speak what we call English.

9. We don't recognize Russia, never did. We pretend to know nothing of it. Putin who?

10. That leaves Antartica. We love the cold but it's way to cold, and there's absolutely nothing to do. So we pretend. When was the last time you've heard of someone vacationing in Antartica? Never!

Am I alone here pretending, or am I telling the truth, eh?

















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