The Lies Our Parents Told Us When We Were Kids!

Are you becoming just like your parents?

Why is it?

Everyone's parents had to walk to school, ten miles each way, in any kind of weather.  I've even heard of barefoot, in the middle of winter.  Ten inches of snow, in a blizzard. Sleet, hail the wrath of God with no lunch. 

They were lucky to get one meal a day.  They would have died for a plate of spinach, or turnip smothered in butter that they tried to force you to eat. It made me think of the diet of the pioneers and early settlers, venison and buffalo, even shoe leather but they weren't that old or that desperate for food. 

What were they thinking when they told us "a little birdie told them."  Did they have a parrot I didn't know about? or, were they really talking to the birds? I never caught them actually talking to one, but I heard my mother talking to a cat one day. She was telling it, "If you have any more kittens, out the door you go, understand."  The cat of course didn't.  We had four kittens shortly after.

How about, "Because I said so!"  Usually the key word for Discussion Over.

"Money doesn't grow on trees," always gave me a chuckle. Same with "I've only got two hands," I imagined by father, his baby finger missing from one hand. An accidental amputation when he himself was young.

Was it a code between parents? Whenever you asked your father a question he would say, "Go ask your mother." 

You'd go ask your mother, she'd reply, "Ask your father." 

You ask your father. He says he will go with what ever your mother wants, so you ask her what she wants and she says, "Whatever your father wants, I'm game."  

You get bounced around like a basketball.

My mother told me, my face was going to stay twisted, the faces I use to make. It never did!  Except one time I got lock-jaw, testing how big my mouth would open, forcing my fist into my mouth. I was just a kid, remember. I still wasn't accustomed to the limits of the human body. It only lasted about five minutes, and my jaw relaxed and went back to normal. I had the feeling that there might have been some truth in it so never did it again. Well, for awhile.

I still make faces and I eventually started to like spinach and turnip smothered in butter. Everyone had cars, there was no need to walk to school. There were chips and chocolate bars in the cafeteria if I got hungry. I didn't starve. I thrived.

"Hay is for horses," I don't know how many times I've heard that. 

Like most kids, I just stopped asking them questions. They eventually stopped lying.

Funny, neither one mentioned hair growing on the palms of my hands. Sex a taboo subject. 

I was always worried about that! Thankful, no hair ever grew on my palms.

Dog Brindle

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great post, Mike. So true. But I, in fact, did walk a mile to school, home for lunch, back to school, and back home, 4 miles a day. I can remember when I was in the first couple grades walking in snow up to my knees. BUT I had shoes, warm clothes, and plenty to eat. And most important, perhaps, I never told my kids about it when they complained about walking.