I always believed money would buy me happiness.
People who don't have any or enough, grow up believing in the lack of it, while others with money coming out of their yin-yangs, believe in abundance, money miraculously appears whether they need it or not. They understand the cycle of money.
Money the root of all fear.
When I was growing up, money was a scarcity. We never had enough, even though my parents worked, there was always a feeling of lacking mentally, the cause of many an argument. It was one of our major concerns. I never asked for much, knowing we didn't have extra money for this or that.
I always thought of money the same way as I thought of relationships, as a source of completion. No matter how much I accumulated, it still has that addictive control which as it grows still leaves me with the feeling that I still need more. A cycle that repeats itself over and over again.
That was then this is now. To this day I still feel the lack, I feel guilty, when spending, remembering the old memories of not having enough. I still see money as a status indicator and a meter for self-worth but...
Today I look at money as a tool, not as an end in itself. It's that same old saying, you've heard a million times.
"Money won't make you happy!"
I've finally taken heed and honestly asked myself,
"What do I really want from life and does it matter if I'm rich or not?"
Here's my answer.
I want to be loved and be able to love. I don't need money for that.