Do men who drive big trucks have small penises?

How true is this statement...  Men who drive big monster trucks have small penises.  Included in this monster truck grouping is Hummers, the ultimate in a small penis car.

I've always secretly thought this to be true, I've heard all the jokes. 

As it turns out, Yes, there is scientific proof that size does exist with drivers of big trucks or Hummers. 

There once was a group of scientists sitting around pondering this exact question. They all had been drinking. When one arrived late to the meeting he related a story of being almost driven off the road by some little bald headed man driving a big honker of an SUV. 

The scientists started to do research on the topic.  They needed several hundred, erect penises for the test. Flaccid penises are difficult to measure. One would have to hold it while the other measured it, as you can imagine there was a lot of shrinkage. 

They came up with this ingenious idea. They'd hire a bunch of prostitutes to do the testing and go to areas of the country where men with excessively big trucks are most often found. The girls hit the truck stops, the tractor pulls, all you can eat buffets, baseball cap stores, tattoo parlours and most important of all the truck dealerships. The prostitutes were to ask, if the men were willing to be part of a test in exchange for a hand job which allowed their erect penises to be measured.

After about a year the data was collected, 27,000 penises were measured. It had always been surmised the average length of a full erect penis is 5.64 inches length and 4.9 inches round but with this study (men with big trucks) it was found that among the test subjects the average was 4.92 inches in length and 4.06 in circumference.

In conclusion, women looking for future sexual partners with girth should ask the question, "What kind of car do you drive?" 

Car & Truck Magazine did their own survey and found it was not exactly the size of the truck but the lift of the truck from the wheel.  The larger the lift the smaller the penis.

Of course the survey has it's non-believers. They all took off in their big trucks before being questioned and measured.
Ironically it's women and gays that are asking the question. "Do men who drive big trucks have small penises?"

Take my own car. Not a chick magnet. I'm waiting for the next survey to be conducted.  

"Men who drive small cars."

No one cares...

Dog Brindle

1 comment:

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