The road of life! "You won't be needing these things, after all, not to worry."

The road of life! You've finally made it. You just retired and now looking forward to the golden years of your life. 

Have you ever thought of the things you will lose or might gain as you age?  

Most old people have lost their teeth by the time they've retired. Hell, ten years after you retire you don't even share the bedroom with them anymore. You take the bed, your teeth takes the top shelf of the night stand in a glass of water. That relationship is over! 

No matter how hard you try to keep your hair, it thins or completely falls out. Luckily, there's such a thing as a wig, or toupee.  Grey it's such a dull colour. Men are buying more hair dyes and beauty products than ever before.  But it's a little to early to tell whether these 80 - 90 year old's are metro-sexuals or not. Time will tell!

The most cruel thing for a man is, you lose your stamina and sex drive. An advantage, to women. Not that it matters anyway. You can resort to artificial means, (Viagra etc.) if needed. Those all-nighters don't mean your ability to stay up all night anymore either!  All-nighter, now means you can't hold your pee "all-night!"

Let's face it, you'll have to give up your drivers licence. They'll take it from you, on your first accident, anyway. Or eye test, whichever comes first. I think as long as you can see over the dashboard and touch the pedals and seem to know which way is east and which way west, you'll be fine.

Your home disappears, it gets taken over by the kids and their kids. Your bedroom has been moved down into the basement. You lose your independence. After a while you're trapped you can't climb the stairs to get out. Everyone is out to help you or are they?

You can start smoking.  By the time cancer gets to you, it will be too late. You can become that dirty old man you've read about.  Charges never stick! The courts are flooded with these (dirty old men) types, back logged for years.  You'll be dead by the time your trial comes up.

How about writing a new address book, where everyone in it has MD written behind it?

There are some things that will start on there own, like the aches and pains in your back and feet. Even a hip can go. Don't worry they can replace that!  Same with your teeth. 

Your mind will start to wander and you'll forget things. You could burn the house down, so be careful!

You can shop till you drop. Everything you buy now will outlast you. 

The best thing: All those years you've worried. Fretted about those secrets you confided in, with your friends.  You won't have to worry about them anymore.  No one remembers, and they luckily die with them.

In the end, they take away your money, take away the years of accumulation, the furniture, the cars, the fun. Until you are left with nothing. Exactly the way you came in. Empty handed.

Besides all the material things.  You start to lose your friends and your family. Until it's just, you that's left. The saddest part.

Some people lose their mind, to ease the pain. God's way of telling them.

"You won't be needing these things, after all, not to worry."

Dog Brindle

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