Meeting Sasquatches While Camping

Recreational Property is for Greedy, Selfish, Hedonistic, People!




What I needed to do was shut my mouth! They didn't have to know the truth...







I was watching one of those shows on television. One of those many shows lately monopolizing television air waves these days, about selling recreational real estate properties. I won't mention the name of the show but the people on the show were looking for recreational property for their retirement.



The couple buying, rich. Very rich!



What amazed me were the requirements this couple needed, in a recreational property.

First, they needed it to be on the coast. Preferably on a tropical island. Even though, they were within a bird's eye-view of Canada's Thousand Islands, miles and miles of pristine St. Lawrence River Coast.

They owned a travel agency, and needed to be near the centre of a big city. I thought of Montreal, Quebec City. They thought Belize, Cozumel, St. John's.  

No, not St. John's Newfoundland, St. John's on the island of Antigua, in the Caribbean.



He planned on buying a huge luxurious yacht. He'd need his own dock. 



A must, it had to have a minimum of three bathrooms. She needed her own. He needed his. Guests needed to have their own. The thought of using a communal bathroom, abhorred her.

They were shown a home with three bathrooms. Beautiful! All with claw bathtubs. 

Not good enough! They needed soaker tubs with jets. Big enough for two people, with walk in showers equipped with rain shower, heads. Two sinks. Heated toilet seats, heated white marble floors, heated towel rack. What? No sauna! No whirlpool? Oh! No pool? They needed a pool.

They would have beautiful garden instead. 

Too much work!  They'd dig a pool, they needed one.



"I need less garden."
Giving the impression he was eco-friendly."



It had beautiful, hardwood parquet floors.  

Not good enough! It had to be white marble throughout.  Nothing else would do! It reminded the woman of her mother's villa back in Italy! They needed it for when she came to visit. Making her feel more at home. The parquet would have to go. The man agreed. He needed to agree. Or, she'd give him hell, later!

Ended up they selected a home, in Antigua. Beautiful in it's own right.

They showed the couple a year later, sitting in the middle of an idle construction site, their dream home, in shambles. Demolished. It took them six months to round up a competent work crew, months of red tape getting permits, thousands in bribes. Even, getting the workers to be on time, without being drunk. The whole project failed. They lost most of their savings, which started a spiral downhill and they eventually lost everything, business, marriage, they both died early, from stress.



What was needed, was a miracle!



Conclusion: As if I know what I'm talking about. I'm no psychologist. But...what they needed to me, was right in front of their eyes. That beautiful historic home on the St. Lawrence. 

I would have told them they needed too much! "Recreational Property is for greedy, selfish, hedonistic people," I would nag.

I hear the English majors out there in computer land, jumping to their keyboards, adding their two cents, "People don't nag," They'd say. "They say, they said," they say. 

Confused?


That's when I'd need to shut my mouth! Because, when my book, ONE TWO  ONE TWO, a ghost story, gets published (soon) and I start making millions, I might need an island for solitude, so I can write my next one. Another wish of mine.   

     "I need it," I'll say. 



Dog Brindle




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