An Assessment Report on the Patient: Ms. Canada

The Patient:
Ms. Canada

Address of Patient:  Earth, Northern Hemisphere. The northern part of North America between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans

Birth Date:  July 1, 1867. 


Birth Certificate: Constitution Act of 1867 also known as the British North American Act.

Age:  146 years.

Place of Birth:  Ottawa

Physical Description

  • Flushed pink in complexion, all pictures indicate high blood pressure. Rarely depicted in any other colour. (Check World Atlas) 
  • A deep scar called the Rockies on her left cheek. 
  • Overweight. Much larger than her brother Mr. USA.
  • Appears cold but known to have a warm heart.

Guardian:  Her brother—a known bullyMr. USA  who lives just below her.

Original assessment:

  Ms. Canada appears to be well maintained on the outside. A lot bigger than her brother, Mr. USA with a more humble personality. A wallflower of sorts, not much of a backbone. During the initial examination, Mrs. Canada seemed lost, disorientated, and had difficult concentrating. She was jumpy, reacting to every sound, with violent outbursts. She blames her brother, Mr. USA for all her problems. To her, he's a bully. She tries hard to be accepted and tries to please him, to no avail. He treats her as if she was his  private little toy puppet and all he has to do is pull a few strings, to get her to move in the direction he pleases. She goes along with him, to keep peace. She hates rejection. She is well educated, talented and given opportunities galore.  She loves art and music. She's independent and fills her obligations.

Present Problem: 

For the last 12 years has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, after 911. The attack on her brother,  has developed into a phobia, thinking she's next to be attacked by hostile countries. Hereditary, her brother suffers from the same phobia.

Presently in conflict from within, over religion, and self-government. She has been in many fights, some she has started, some others started. She is resilient, coming out on top after every altercation. 

She has many addictions that have spun out of control in recent years, she drinks too much alcohol, takes too many over and under the counter drugs, even dabbles in harder drugs. She's slow to react.  A thinker not a doer. Suffers constant pain from no backbone. Considered by some, spineless.  

She functions on a social and emotional level as a teenager. A hedonist, that reacts on impulsive desires and is pre-occuppied with sex and shopping. Living way over her credit limit, causing more stress on an already weakened immune system. Her veins and arteries, her infra-structure crumbling as we speak. 

She puts all her health issues aside; her ageing population, the Aids epidemic, poverty, etc. Then cries public injustice. She lacks focus and suffers complex emotional panic attacks and is overly defensive to protect her name, to the stage of being almost a paranoid schizophrenic.

Recommended Treatment

She will have to start her treatment by telling the truth from here on in. Little festers turn into major surgeries. She must accept her faults and try to improve them, especially with her dealings with Indian affairs, her mother Mrs. Britain and her brother Mr. USA and the many other inner demons she has, before stepping out onto the world stage.

In general, everyone expects better of her, but the world is too complex and intricate for her to comprehend. She will always be considered the baby sister, that tried too hard. Until she gets a spine, she is doomed to failure.

Dog Brindle


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