Who you calling old?


Don't you hate being called old?




"I'm not an old man," I cry.  "I'm a senior."



Ancient, aged, venerable, long in the tooth, the dirty old man down the street.  Becoming horizonally challenged.  Gray.  Past my prime, not as young as I used to be.  Superannuated.  But I'm not dead!

I might be getting on, no longer young, decrepit and not long for this world but I'm not senescent, my cells still divide. Or senile, I read!  I'm going to retire soon.  But not yet!

You could consider yourself old if you are getting on in advanced years.  I just past sixty.  Young to you, old lady. Old to you, child.  Anyone under 60 considered a child.    

Have a look in the mirror, if you're a woman and think you're over the hill and getting old and soon to be pushing up daisies.  Take another look.   Of course you've been getting on, aging, losing your youth, your hair, your teeth, but that was then this is now.

Just because "Old Faithful's" on the couch with the beer and calls you his old lady now and then, as a term of endearment, or an old witch, if he's mad, take my suggestion.  Call an old flame, rekindle some old memories.  Show him you're not as old fashion as Old Ironside thinks.  Leave the old days behind you.  Any old thing he wants to tell you, any old way, you don't care, because your new beau is rich, filthy rich with old money, and just because people say he's old enough to be your father.  Don't pay no attention.  That's just old!

The creep you call your husband is old school, he's old as the hills not you.  Your sick of his patronizing ways, calling you an old dear everytime you bring him a beer.  Face it your sick of your old man, with his old chestnuts, they weren't funny anyways.  You've had a good old time and a good old life but you need a change.

Any old thing the old salt wants to tell you, in any old way won't matter.   You'll rid yourself of your old identity and you won't even care if your new beau is old enough to be your father, and people say he's as old as the hills.  Who cares? No your not old fashioned. He's just an old bastard, with his old school thoughts and it's getting on your nerves. 

If the old boy picks up the old bat and threatens you, call Old Bill and have him taken away.  I know you're tired of all this old talk, so for old times sake, leave the old coot, if you have to move from the old country move.  Don't worry Old Glory will be chasing you down as soon as he thinks your leaving.
Acting like a good old man but more Old Nic, his old identity. 

When that old moon is in its last quarter, especially if your in the old south were it's the biggest, take him out back in the old growth and tell him you're sick of his old liner conservative views and swear on the old Testament, if he doesn't change his old ways this old woman is going to leave his old buzzard ass faster than you can sing one line of the oldie, Auld Lang Syne. 

A little Olde English, olde as an adjective varient spelling of old, as in Olde Antique Shoppe.

Have you ever wondered, if there is more than one person in a room, there is always someone older and someone younger.  

I don't give a shit.  It's an old wives tale.


Dog Brindle




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