Fifty Shades of Chicken


Fifty Shades  of: 

Fifty Shades of Chicken

a parody in a cookbook

FL Fowler

I received this book as a Christmas Present.
A parody.  A funny cook book.

"Not another funny cookbook," I said.
I fingered her. Carefully, slowly.
She was new!

"I'm sorry," I heard her say, 
A woman!
A skimpy picture of a chicken, 
on her belly.
Naked, bound in twine.
"Filth, trash." I laid her on her back.  
A tattoo, on her foot~Note how round.
Faded and gray.
Her cover, a beacon. 
"Open me. Please!"

"You're a book, you can't talk," I say.
I got down on all fours, 
to put her back under the tree.

"I'm not porno, if that's what your saying!
She was skinny, dark in color. 
She flashed a leaf. 

I felt the smoothness of her skin, 
the straightness of her spine.
She didn't resist.

I slid my fingers between her pages.
I gazed at her cover.
I flipped her over, and read her back.
A man!

"You're young," I said.  "Not a wrinkle."
Every page shiny and sleek. 
I felt their strength, their thickness.
Your spine, I want you, you're mine.

"Ouch," she said. "Not so fast."

Her corners, stiff, firm, untouched.
Her smell, fresh, new.
I spread my fingers, further.
Sensed her insides, what she wanted to give.
Her cherry. What she was about.
I took her in both hands.
"Stop, I'm a virgin."

I picked her up and cradled her. 
All five fingers, inserted deep. 
"You're not bathroom material."

"I can be, please take me."

I pulled her in, pressed tight to my chest. 
"Yes, you'll do. Come my child. Come with me."  

"I'll be worth it," she says as... 

We disappear down the hall.

"Tell me, who is this FL Fowler, 
fucking you in the rear?
Do you know him intimately?"

"He's fingered me too."
The bathroom door slammed shut.

"My poor book, so young and fresh, 
open up and expose yourself to me."

to be continued...

Part #2  "May I Call You, Miss Book?" I asked.

Dog Brindle

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